The answer? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and another to draft an overrated skill position player in the first round of another NFL draft. Lions fans had clearly grown unfathomably sick of being the brunt of all NFL jokes. With lines like, “…and that’s why you’re the Lions” it must have been hard to make it through the past seven years in Detroit.

Matt Millen, a former all-American defensive tackle at Penn State who had moderate success in the NFL before becoming the color guy for MNF radio broadcasts, was hired to be the president of the Detroit Lions in 2001. The events that ensued are so intensely awful that a disclaimer should be required before any form of media lists them consecutively for fear that it could cause a spike in the number of brain aneurysms in the state of Michigan. Read more »

Plaxico Burress is a bad dude, in more ways than one. We’ve known for a while, dating back to his days with the Steelers and at Michigan State, that Burress has his share of shortcomings as a human being. Unfortunately for the rest of the National Football League, we’ve also known just how big a force he is on the football field.

Lots of dirt is being dug up on Burress after the Giants announced a two-week suspension for him Wednesday. The first week is a bye for the Giants, but the second is a road contest Burress will miss at Seattle. All told, the suspension will cost Burress $230,000 in salary, the New York Post reported.

The suspension came down after Burress failed to report for Monday and Tuesday team meetings and workouts, according to the Post. Read more »